missing you… missing me

I’m feeling particularly nostalgic right now.   Over the past couple of days I’ve been thinking about updating my LiveJournal.com account.  Today I went there.  While I didn’t update I was taken back a few years.  There’s an image that brings back a rush of emotion and memories.  It always amazes me how a sight or sound can trigger memories and bring them back like new.   The wave I just had was so much like the original experience.   I just find that incredible.

I wonder what will trigger memories of now.  What sound? What scent?  What blend of colors?  It makes me wonder if I’ve forgotten the part of myself that savored that.  The part of me that curled up in the warmth of yellow and spun red string around my fingers and toes while watching a sky filled with glitter.

Sleeping update

It’s been a while since I posted anything about Naomi’s sleep habits.  Since I just pointed a couple of people here to read about our experience with the Ferber method, I thought it would be good to issue an update.

When we moved, our bedtime routine broke.  The baby no longer has her own room, as we are now in a 3 bedroom home and my Mom still lives with us *.  So Naomi’s crib is in our room, and we had to make a new bedtime routine.  I love our new routine, it has been such a good thing for our family, as a whole.  Between 7 and 7:30pm we take her upstairs and change her diaper and put on PJs.  Then we may play a little bit, depending on the night and how tired she is.  Grab the Glow Worm and head over to our bed.  Mark lays on one side, I on the other.  Nomes, of course, in the middle.  We play with the Glow Worm, she rolls around on the bed in between us, we sing songs to her, and then Mark and I start chatting.  Naomi usually continues to roll back and forth between us, touching our faces or snuggling into our chest.  While we talk she watches and listens and then eventually falls asleep.  We continue to chat for a bit until she’s “out out” and then move her to her crib.

This is great because she doesn’t go to sleep with a bottle or pacifier, she is safe and secure between her parents, and we have a routine that we can do anywhere (hotel, Grandparent’s house, etc.).  The family time together has been awesome.  It’s one of the only times that all three of us can get together and hang out.  Mark and I are able to recap on the day, chat about tomorrow’s events, or whatever is on our mind.  Our communication has improved because we have a daily talk time.

The whole bedtime routine lasts between 10 and 30 minutes.  If she’s really tired, but not overly (aka: grouchy) then she’ll fall asleep right away.  If she is overly tired (usually because we were busy and didn’t notice the signs of sleepiness or weren’t paying attention to the time) then bedtime is a little more difficult.  She fusses and doesn’t want to lay down on the bed with us.  We have a few different methods for dealing with it:  1) flying Glow Worm.  She lays down and we make the Glow Worm “fly” above her head and play music.  She likes to watch the movement with the light and sound.  After a song or two, the Glow Worm lands gently in her lap and she grabs it to investigate. 2) More songs, louder.  Sometimes we just start singing an easy repetitive song (like my Bonnie lies over the ocean, only we’ve substituted “Naomi” for “Bonnie”).  We start out loud so she can hear us over her fussing and then quiet as she does.  3) Last resort, give her a couple ounces of ounces in a bottle.  Not too much, it’s not a “meal”, just enough to calm her down so she can settle in.  She usually will unlatch from the bottle on her own and begin her rolling back and forth between the two of us.  If she cries again after a couple of ounces then that usually means she’s hungry and we’ll give her a regular bottle (which is 6-8 ounces, minus the 2 that we already gave to her).  I don’t like to resort to the bottle often because I do not want her to become dependent on it.  However, sometimes it’s necessary and parents shouldn’t be afraid to use the tools are available to them to ease their child’s stress (and their own stress!)

Our most recent change in sleep has been nap time.  Until recently I would lay down with Naomi and take a nap with her.  Sadly I can’t afford that time anymore as I need to start bringing in new clients (clients = work = money).  So I’m laying her down for her naps and letting her CIO (cry it out).   It’s only been a couple of days and she’s already adjusting to it.  She cries for 10 minutes before falling asleep.  She wakes up 30 minutes into the nap and cries.  I don’t go to her, and she falls back asleep for an hour.  She’s happy and playful after a good nap and Mama’s happy because she had some alone time.  I fully expect her to be napping a full hour to 1.5 hours without waking up soon.  So we’ll see!

Today we’re heading to the Smith Farms in Oakley for some pumpkin fun.  Pictures to come on Facebook 🙂

 

* Mom found a really cute place in the same town we’re in!  She won’t be too far (but far enough).  I’m really excited for her.  Her move date is next week – so Nomes is going to have her own bedroom again soon!  And we’ll have some extra room in the garage!

we are loud

I feel like so much has happened in such a short period of time.

• We moved
• I stopped breastfeeding
• Nomes started crawling
• Nomes started pulling up
• We need a new roof
  • subsequently I’m looking for new clients or going back to work

On the gainful employment end, it is the holiday season and I could get a seasonal position in retail.  That would be an easy way to bring in a few extra dollars.  It would also be an easy way to contract any of those nasty viruses that are flying about this time of year.  While I am not overly concerned over the flu, including H1N1, I do want to be cautious.  The numbers on H1N1 are minimal.  2009 has less than 6,000 death cases world-wide (appx 1,200 in the US).  While 500,000+ have contracted the virus that leaves a very small percent who have not survived.  In the US alone, seasonal flu causes an average of 36,000 deaths each year (according to the CDC).  I understand that we are just entering the flu season and the number of deaths are going to increase… I just have a hard time accepting that we are all going to die this year.  Especially since people are taking strong precautions.  I would love to see the numbers decrease in H1N1 and the seasonal flu this year.  That would be fantastic… and I believe it to be possible.  Just be smart people.

Alright, off my soap box.  So we’ll see how it all works out.  In the meantime I need to start sending out my resume and see what bites and then make a decision from there.

In other news, the house is coming along.  While still a bit of a OCD/clean-freak’s bad dream (no longer a nightmare) it doesn’t make me crazy anymore.  I don’t mind having people over now.  Well, at least close friends.  I wouldn’t throw a party yet. Ha!  We’ll get there.  The furniture has found their final resting place, things are finding their way onto the walls.  It’s coming along.  Nomes will have a bedroom again in a few weeks, which means we can pull her things out of boxes and clear out space in the garage.

Relationally, this move has been great for my marriage.  Mark has turned into a totally different person since we’ve been here.  He is motivated to turn a house into a home.  He is stretching his comfort zone in Husbandhood, Fatherhood.  As a team we are challenging our spirituality and faith.  We are pulling off the heavy blankets and putting on our swim wear… because its time to dive in again.

It seems as though we have found a new church.  I need to write about that… but not now.  The wind is kicking up and I need to watch the trees dance for a while.  Because if love’s like a hurricane, I am a tree.  Bending under Your wind and mercy.

faith

A friend recently lost their baby during delivery.   Their faith through the entire thing has me floored. Grounded.  Jaw open.  In awe.  It’s beautiful.

… and challenging.

i should be packing…

tired. must. sleep.

We have too much stuff.  At this point I’ve stopped sorting and am just putting things in boxes. I want to be done.

back.to.work.

funnel cake

Sleeping is a dream.   Bliss.  Our current routine is bedtime between 7:30pm and 8:00pm.  She sleeps until 5:00am and then I pull her into bed with us, nurse her, and she goes back to sleep for an hour or two.  Naps are still – eh.  But she sleeps when she’s tired, and is in good humor otherwise, so I’m ok with that.

Now that she’s done with the night feedings and pacifier, our recent undertaking is making bedtime positive.  No tears.  I wasn’t sure it was possible because she fusses so much with me before bed.  But one evening Mark had her and got her to bed tear-less.  We chatted about what he did and why we thought it worked.  So the night before last, he walked with her for a bit.  Loving on her and chatting to her.  Then passed her to me and I did the same thing.  What was awesome?  She laid her head on my shoulder and then turned and looked at her crib.  Hum… I wonder if that means she’s ready for bed.  I asked her and then laid her down.  She didn’t fuss!  I stayed with her for a few minutes, rubbing her back and speaking softly.  Then kissed her and left.

She was asleep shortly and without tears.

This evening we broke from routine.  We went to the Scottish Games and then dinner.  Not getting home until 9:00pm.  While changing her for bed she fussed once for a few seconds, then just watched me in a half sleepy state.  Afterwards I held her and walked with her for a minute before she looked at her crib again.  So I laid her down, stayed with her for a minute, kissed her and then left.  Again… no tears!

I am so excited!  I hated the idea that bedtime was something she got upset about.  However, if we can keep this going, it’s going to be something positive for her… and that’s wonderful.

I feel like I’ve discovered some amazing secret and want to share it with everyone.  It’s just *that* good.

In other news, I love my family.  Family isn’t always blood, as I’m sure you know.  It’s the people who you’ve grown up with, the people you allow into that close circle of your heart.  The people who you choose, and who have chosen you.   Well, today I got to spend time with one branch of my family and I enjoyed hanging out with them more than I ever have.  I think part of it comes from my own blossoming understanding of what family is and it’s importance.  That, and it was just a good day.  I miss them and was so blessed to hang out with them today.

Another one of my family members has re-entered my life.  He’s one of those guys who has come and gone from my life for the past 15 years.  On his current road to recovery and self discovery, he’s returned to the bay area.  I’m joyous for this, for many different reasons.  He’s changed in some ways which make me feel the seporation between us.  In other ways, I am finding bridges where seperations were.  I can’t wait to get to know who he is now and where he is going.  To be there and build a new level of our relationship.

It’s been a good day.

what doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger (part 2)

It occured to me that the subject for my last post works perfectly for my experiance this evening with Carlos, my personal trainer.  Burn baby, burn.  Hopefully I can get myself to work that hard on my own this week.  I’ll push it, but there’s something about having someone next to you – cheering you on.

Wow… there’s so much there.  How does that work with God? Metaphors up the wazoo.  God.  Accountablity.  Relationship.

Relationships.  It really is the key to everything.  We are all so selfish.  So detached.  We have to choose, yes.  We can’t be everything, do everything.  I get that.  But let your yes be yes and your no be no.

Christina – pay attention.

what doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger

“Faith must be tested, because it can only become your intimate possession through conflict. What is challenging your faith right now? The test will either prove your faith right, or it will kill it.”

From today’s devotional on My Upmost for His Highest.

I understood this concept from the begining.  When things happen, people turn to God.  We see it numerous times in the Old Testament, we see it in recent history (after 9-11, churches were packed).  Do we see it in our own lives?  Probably.

I don’t want to be like the Hebrews, who turn to God during strife, and forget about Him in times of peace.  It seems to be a fact of human nature.  As much as I don’t want to be … I am.  I am learning to appreciate trials because they keep me focused on what’s important.

Which really, is what they are meant to do.

another sleep update

So last night she fell asleep quickly, but woke up at 4am and cried for an hour.  Then woke at just after six, at which time I brought her into bed with me (Mark gets up at 6 for work).  She proceeded to sleep until 9:17am.  I didn’t sleep the whole time, but curling up with my baby for three hours was really really great.

Nap time, she went to sleep within 10 minutes, but only slept for 30 minutes.  I let her cry for 15 minutes before pulling her out of bed.  She later fell asleep on Dad’s chest for almost an hour.  So her naps were off scheduled because of sleeping in… and this may be why it was wonky.

This evening she went to sleep within five minutes and is still asleep… so we’ll see!

Just wanted to update “for the record”

sleep update

So morning naptime was good.  She slept for an hour, twice as long as she had been sleeping.  Afternoon nap was a little wonky and ended up being in the car with Dad going to Fremont.

This evening, she was out in 10 minutes.  Sweet.  If we continue cutting it by 50%, tomorrow will be next to nothing and the following night she will be asleep the moment she hits the crib.  Not that I expect either, but wouldn’t it be great?