mundane echo

It occured to me that the subject for my last post works perfectly for my experiance this evening with Carlos, my personal trainer.  Burn baby, burn.  Hopefully I can get myself to work that hard on my own this week.  I’ll push it, but there’s something about having someone next to you – cheering you on.

Wow… there’s so much there.  How does that work with God? Metaphors up the wazoo.  God.  Accountablity.  Relationship.

Relationships.  It really is the key to everything.  We are all so selfish.  So detached.  We have to choose, yes.  We can’t be everything, do everything.  I get that.  But let your yes be yes and your no be no.

Christina – pay attention.

“Faith must be tested, because it can only become your intimate possession through conflict. What is challenging your faith right now? The test will either prove your faith right, or it will kill it.”

From today’s devotional on My Upmost for His Highest.

I understood this concept from the begining.  When things happen, people turn to God.  We see it numerous times in the Old Testament, we see it in recent history (after 9-11, churches were packed).  Do we see it in our own lives?  Probably.

I don’t want to be like the Hebrews, who turn to God during strife, and forget about Him in times of peace.  It seems to be a fact of human nature.  As much as I don’t want to be … I am.  I am learning to appreciate trials because they keep me focused on what’s important.

Which really, is what they are meant to do.

So last night she fell asleep quickly, but woke up at 4am and cried for an hour.  Then woke at just after six, at which time I brought her into bed with me (Mark gets up at 6 for work).  She proceeded to sleep until 9:17am.  I didn’t sleep the whole time, but curling up with my baby for three hours was really really great.

Nap time, she went to sleep within 10 minutes, but only slept for 30 minutes.  I let her cry for 15 minutes before pulling her out of bed.  She later fell asleep on Dad’s chest for almost an hour.  So her naps were off scheduled because of sleeping in… and this may be why it was wonky.

This evening she went to sleep within five minutes and is still asleep… so we’ll see!

Just wanted to update “for the record”

So morning naptime was good.  She slept for an hour, twice as long as she had been sleeping.  Afternoon nap was a little wonky and ended up being in the car with Dad going to Fremont.

This evening, she was out in 10 minutes.  Sweet.  If we continue cutting it by 50%, tomorrow will be next to nothing and the following night she will be asleep the moment she hits the crib.  Not that I expect either, but wouldn’t it be great?

After talking to Moms and reading every book and article I could get my hands on, and most importantly, knowing and understanding my daughter, I decided to let her cry a bit.  My plan was to do the Ferber method of checking in on her at 5 minutes, then wait 10 minutes, then wait 15 minutes.  Keeping at the 15 minute interval.  I didn’t set a maximum crying time ahead of time, but I doubt I could have held out for more than 45 minutes of active crying.  Here’s what happened…

Naomi started crying before hitting the bed.  Dad put her down, kissed her goodnight and left the room.  We waited five minutes, and then I went in for one minute to rub her back and soothe her.  Then left the room, with her still crying.  We waited 10 minutes and I went back in to sooth her for one minute, then left the room.  She settled down about 5-7 minutes later and went to sleep.

She normally wakes up between 11pm and 11:30pm, last night she slept through until 2am (again, a normal wake up time for her).  At that time, I followed the same 5/10/15 pattern, and she was asleep in approximately 20 minutes.  She slept until 4:20am, woke up and cried for less than 5 minutes.  Woke up again around 6am and cried for one or two minutes before going back to sleep.

This morning I put her down for her nap at 10:25am.  She cried (and it wasn’t active crying, she was just whining) for less than 10 minutes before going to sleep.  It’s now 11am and she’s still sleeping.  Normally she only sleeps for 30 minutes before waking up.  I’m planning on leaving her in her crib for 45 minutes, even if she’s awake.  If she’s sleeping… then let her sleep!  So we’ll see how this goes.

- crossing fingers and toes -

All in all, I’m happy with the first night.  Yes, it was difficult hearing her cry.  But, oddly enough, not as difficult as I thought it ws going to be.  That showed me that I am confident in this decision and believe it is the best method for our family.  I full expect that by midweek she will doze off easily and I will wake up feeling more rested than I have in 9 months!

I stopped by Barnes & Noble today to pick up Ferber’s book (I already have no-tears books).  Standing in line, I felt like I was buying a dirty magazine.  I know friends on both ends of the Sears/Ferber spectrum, but I must say that the Sears-ites tend to be more guilt/emotional in their arguments.  Enough so that I feel like I’m breaking some terrible moral code by even considering breaking from the doctrine.

I haven’t made  a choice yet… and may not until after we’ve settled into the new place. I need to start looking into how moving may effect the baby and what I should be prepared for and do to get her settled in at the new house.

Something has to change.  I’ve started waking up at night with a start, not knowing where the baby is because I was so tired the last time she woke up, that I don’t remember laying her back down.  I wake up afraid that I fell asleep with her on my lap and she rolled off onto the floor or sufficated because I leaned forward in a doze while she was nursing.  I’m tired, I’m stressed (with the move and a few other things), and I need to get some sleep.

My preference?  Cosleeping and cuddling her to sleep every night for at least one year.  Offering her comfort and nursing on demand, ensuring she is emotionally stable and safe.  Sadly, reality doesn’t always work along with our preferences.  My husband has a sleeping disorder.  Cosleeping poses two problems.  The first is that his medication makes him sleep heavier and that poses a risk to the baby.  The second is that his productive sleep is limited and cosleeping will disrupt that, causing his waking time to be even more difficult.  While I could sleep in another room with the baby, that would put a strain on our marriage, causing other issues.

So I’m exploring all of the options that I can and am going to do something that works best for the entire family.