funnel cake

Sleeping is a dream.   Bliss.  Our current routine is bedtime between 7:30pm and 8:00pm.  She sleeps until 5:00am and then I pull her into bed with us, nurse her, and she goes back to sleep for an hour or two.  Naps are still – eh.  But she sleeps when she’s tired, and is in good humor otherwise, so I’m ok with that.

Now that she’s done with the night feedings and pacifier, our recent undertaking is making bedtime positive.  No tears.  I wasn’t sure it was possible because she fusses so much with me before bed.  But one evening Mark had her and got her to bed tear-less.  We chatted about what he did and why we thought it worked.  So the night before last, he walked with her for a bit.  Loving on her and chatting to her.  Then passed her to me and I did the same thing.  What was awesome?  She laid her head on my shoulder and then turned and looked at her crib.  Hum… I wonder if that means she’s ready for bed.  I asked her and then laid her down.  She didn’t fuss!  I stayed with her for a few minutes, rubbing her back and speaking softly.  Then kissed her and left.

She was asleep shortly and without tears.

This evening we broke from routine.  We went to the Scottish Games and then dinner.  Not getting home until 9:00pm.  While changing her for bed she fussed once for a few seconds, then just watched me in a half sleepy state.  Afterwards I held her and walked with her for a minute before she looked at her crib again.  So I laid her down, stayed with her for a minute, kissed her and then left.  Again… no tears!

I am so excited!  I hated the idea that bedtime was something she got upset about.  However, if we can keep this going, it’s going to be something positive for her… and that’s wonderful.

I feel like I’ve discovered some amazing secret and want to share it with everyone.  It’s just *that* good.

In other news, I love my family.  Family isn’t always blood, as I’m sure you know.  It’s the people who you’ve grown up with, the people you allow into that close circle of your heart.  The people who you choose, and who have chosen you.   Well, today I got to spend time with one branch of my family and I enjoyed hanging out with them more than I ever have.  I think part of it comes from my own blossoming understanding of what family is and it’s importance.  That, and it was just a good day.  I miss them and was so blessed to hang out with them today.

Another one of my family members has re-entered my life.  He’s one of those guys who has come and gone from my life for the past 15 years.  On his current road to recovery and self discovery, he’s returned to the bay area.  I’m joyous for this, for many different reasons.  He’s changed in some ways which make me feel the seporation between us.  In other ways, I am finding bridges where seperations were.  I can’t wait to get to know who he is now and where he is going.  To be there and build a new level of our relationship.

It’s been a good day.

 

I miss my Grandparents today

 

I have 8 minutes before I have to start work.

Today’s main focus?  Getting the house clean.  My in-laws are coming over for Christmas breakfast.  It’s a tradition we started a couple years ago.  Last night Mark and I drove to Redwood City to pickup proper tea, sausage, pudding (not what’ youre thinking), and rashers.

The tea is the most exciting part to me.  Barrys & Lyons are the best black tea.  My world has completely changed when it comes to tea, and that’s my husbands fault.  I’m ok with that particular world upset.  Sadly, they are high in caffeine and I rarely indulge myself.

Barrys makes a decaf.  They sold it in the import store.  My heart is happy.  In fact, I’m enjoying a cup right now.

Bliss.

Yesterday was interesting.  Instead of cleaning all morning I painted.  Serves a similar purpose and was satisfying.  Then Ezekiel’s funeral.  For such a sad thing, the service was filled with hope.  D&M held it together in a way I wouldn’t think possible.  I’m so proud of them.

I wonder what today is like.  Funerals don’t change what’s happened, but the act of closure often creates new breath the next morning.  Does the air feel a little crisper?  The bite harder than it was, and in that, a reminder of life?  Or does the weight still burden them and dull their senses?  I don’t know what I would do, in their place.  How I would act, think, feel.  I don’t know, but I know that I can pray and cry for them with a Mother’s heart.  Even now.  And I know God hears.  I know He’s there.  And I know that this too will not go to waste.  Every experience, God uses.

And from that day the name of the city will be “The Lord Is There”

 

mmm,cake

My birthday was better than I expected.  Started out rough.  No breakfast in bed… what the heck? heh.  Mom showed up and the day got progressively better.  Dinner with friends and family followed by a lovely little film where a big green guy got to smash stuff.  Any time there’s smashing going on – you can expect entertainment.

Around noon today I handed Mom Twilight.  It’s now 5:43pm and she’s still reading.  Muahahaha.

Today we got to see a friend get married.  That’s always a soft smile in a warm place.

Sometime in the next two weeks, Mom will be moving in.  I’ve got a ton to do to prepare for this.  She’ll be moving into what is currently my office, my office will go into the back room – mostly.  Some of it will have to go into the garage.  File cabinets.. they can go out there.  I hate filing.

 

joy of air

Bit of wisdom from Ghost In the Shell:  Zen is like clearing your cache.

Indeed.

Gosh, its been a while since I’ve cleared my head here.  So much has happened in the past few weeks that I haven’t got down on “paper”.  Where to start?  Should I even try?

While I was in Portland, I had a God-experience.  It was neat.  Attending a Sunday service at a nearby church and copped an attitude over the way communion was served to me.  The Holy Spirit corrected me and told me to accept it in the spirit in which it was given.  Next thing I know, it’s greater than toast and I am worshiping with a heart busting.  It was incredible.  He’s incredible.

Portland is still a move-to option.  With recent events, I’m not sure how that’s going to work out… if moving will work out at all.  I’m ok with that.  I know that He’s leading us and that’s going to be – it.

So Mom’s moving in with us for a while.  I’m happy to have her here and it’s compounded by the fact that it will be good for her.   The latter makes me – happy.  I’m glad that we’re able to have a house big enough.  I’m glad we’re making use of all the space.  It’s been poorly used for so long.

In the meantime, I have a busy week ahead of me.  I need to clear out a space for Mom.  The back room would be best for now, but the door needs to be trimmed and hung.  Shouldn’t be too difficult to find someone to do it.   I also need to clear a space in the workshop for her stuff that isn’t going into storage.  She’ll be staying here a few days at the end of this week and then move, I’m guessing, in the next couple of weeks.

The Lord is good, and His love endures forever.

I finally feel like i’m getting a handle on the house.  There’s still a lot to do, but people are welcome to come by.  I love this feeling.  It’s like breathing after you’ve been under water for too long.  Coughing, burning, pain.. then the joy of air.

 

sleep = good

What a weekend!  Friday night Mars & I had a date night which was dinner, sofa movies, and champagne.  It was lovely.  Saturday Mark’s cousin got married.  It was a lovely event, Mark – well, let’s just say he’s a bit delicate this morning.  Today tons of family time, including meeting yet another cousin who’s visiting from Ireland.  I’ll need to expand on the details later.

It was a lovely weekend.  I’m running on about 8 hours of sleep and doing quite well considering.   At the moment I have 2nd (ok, really like 10th) wind and could easily crack on on cleaning the grout in between the kitchen tiles.

 

today

This morning I met Chris. Chris was standing on the corner with a sign “Will work for food”. For good measure, it had a little Jesus fish. It is difficult for me not to be callous when I see that. I think that the Jesus thing is just to solicit a response – one that involves food or money. I had to check myself. People matter. Period. I had the joy of chatting with him in the parking lot and knowing he’ll have a few good meals.And it was good.Next on huge things for this morning – I wrote a letter to my Aunt. It was addressed to Aunt & Uncle, but really – it was to her. I must have tossed half of my writing tablet in attempts to straighten my thoughts and figure out what to say. Finally – I just wrote and let it be what it was.And it was good.

As for the rest of the day? In celebration of Joel’s birthday, we are lunching at Val’s and will all be suffering heart failure due to clogged arteries. I will not be eating much there – so perhaps I’ll live.

I’m hoping to head into SFO later today. Mark’s family is Irish. Today is the St Patty’s parade in the City. There will be celebration afterwards.

It’s 12:50pm and all’s well.