wasted days

Today’s been a “wasted” day.  It was wonderful.  I needed it.  I realize, now, what a mess I’ve been a bulk of my life, just because I never took time for myself.  It’s amazing how the burden lightens and I’m able to breathe again.

Andy and AJ are on their way home.  It was great having them here for a few days.  I put them to work day 1 helping me paint the nursery   I’m such a terrible friend.  The highlight of the weekend was hanging out with Andy.  We went themed Saturday with Indian food and Dostana.  It was really nice.  I’m looking forward to their visit in Spring.  So much will have changed between now and then.

I’ve finally committed to Flickr’s 365 group.

It’s 2pm.  One more hour before I can cut the power and replace the switches and plugs in the nursery.  Depending on how long it takes me, I may start working on the rest of the house.  I’ve been meaning to replace these things for a couple years now…

 

toast

I was thinking about a friend of mine, who’s older brother is estranged from the family (or is it that the family is estranged from him?).  Either way, even after all these years, it still breaks my heart.  I wonder why this is so heavy on my mind today.  I haven’t heard from my friend in a bit, and perhaps in thinking about her this memory came up.  I hope all is well.

It’s seven something in the morning.  I’ve had toast and am drinking a lovely, warm, wonderful cup of almond tea.  It’s gray and chilly outside.  Really, this makes the perfect morning.  Shortly I will head upstairs and start on “her” room.  My baby.  My little girl.

Do you ever notice how, when attempting to grow out your hair (ladies) it doesn’t change for AGES!  Then one day you wake up and it’s grown an inch?  Out of nowhere.  It was short yesterday and suddenly today it has some length to it?  Well, that’s how I feel about my belly.  Nothing… nothing… nothing… ohmygoshitshuge!  Granted, I’m not that big and it’s still not terribly obvious that I’m pregnant, but the belly is getting bigger.  The only time in my life that I’m excited, and waiting in antisipation, of my clothes getting smaller.  Bless the small joys.

Bless… hum.  Word rabbit trail.  At church we are going through Ruth.  I adore the book of Ruth so I was happy to see it come up for the next study.  Pastor Larry is drawing some very interesting meanings from the text.  Nothing crazy, nothing outside of “right” – but beautiful, inspiring, and new.  I’ve heard enough teachings that I can nod my head in agreement.  Yepyep, heard that… that’s right.  Some of the stuff he’s been drawing out of the text makes me pause and contemplate a bit more.  It brings that much more depth to the story and it’s beautiful.  God’s providence.

Tea is almost done… done enough that it’s too close to room temperature.  Time to get to work!

 

mmm,cake

My birthday was better than I expected.  Started out rough.  No breakfast in bed… what the heck? heh.  Mom showed up and the day got progressively better.  Dinner with friends and family followed by a lovely little film where a big green guy got to smash stuff.  Any time there’s smashing going on – you can expect entertainment.

Around noon today I handed Mom Twilight.  It’s now 5:43pm and she’s still reading.  Muahahaha.

Today we got to see a friend get married.  That’s always a soft smile in a warm place.

Sometime in the next two weeks, Mom will be moving in.  I’ve got a ton to do to prepare for this.  She’ll be moving into what is currently my office, my office will go into the back room – mostly.  Some of it will have to go into the garage.  File cabinets.. they can go out there.  I hate filing.

 

How do you tell a friend that all her efforts are backfiring and making the thing she doesn’t want to happen – happen. How do you butt into her life and say something that is directed at the very core of her personality? How do you say something like that with love and a broom to sweep up the pieces if she understands your words? How do you help in such a sensitive area?

What should I do?

Watch and pray. That I can do. Follow the leading of the Spirit. That… I’m not so good at. Patience is not my virtue and I have problems waiting while “the food gets cold”. In addition, knowing what is the Spirit and what is myself is sometimes difficult. Other times so amazingly clear.

 

weekend end

It’s 7pm.  Sunday.  Is 7pm too early for bed?   The past 7 days have been exhausting – in a good way.   I walked up stairs and just laid on the landing.  It felt so good.

Not yet.  Soon, but not yet.

In celebration of Saint Patrick’s Day, I’m making a Beef & Guinness Stew with Brown Soda Bread.   So far it smells lovely.  This is my first stew, so I am a bit anxious.   If it turns out well, I will post the recipe.

Tomorrow evening we’ll be heading up north to Berkeley to celebrate proper with some friends – in a bar.  Oh yes.   Prepare to be smashed in with a ton of other people on the day everyone wishes they were Irish.   If for nothing else, just so they could hold their beer and have just one more.   I don’t know if I’ve ever gone out on the actual holiday.  Either a week night or the crowds have always kept me a way.   It’ll be an experience and I’m looking forward to the social time.

I’m enjoying this new peer group.   A Godsend to be sure, they are diverse and full of color.   Some glitter, some shine, some melt into loveliness.   I am feeling more comfortable around Angela, probably because I interact with her more often.   I wish it didn’t take me so long to open up to people and – chill -  But I am what I am and it is all for God’s glory.

Speaking of God – church was great.  Tyler did a bang up job talking about being plugged into Jesus.   A dozen people gave their life to Christ in the service we attended – I imagine there were more in first service.  It’s all so wonderful.   I peeked during the “raise your hand” part.  There was a guy sitting in the lower level.  Older.  Orange colored shirt.   Seeing him raise his hand – he held it high and kept it up.   Such a blessing.   So amazing.  He’s my brother and tho I’ve never met him, one day we’ll get to remember today together.  I will know him and share his experience.  It will be beautiful.

Tomorrow.  I might grab coffee with Lydia before she leaves town.   Work, of course.  Hopefully all’s well with TLP and my developer has been kicking ass over the weekend.   Mark should be finishing up Monkey and Imperial, which means I can launch their sites.   I need to get homework done and go to the gym.  That should pretty much fill my day.

You make everything glorious.

 

green.

Green has been, longstanding, one of my least favorite colors. Until now. Something in my biochemistry has decided that green = good. All week, I have been attracted to all varieties of green. So much so that I am considering painting my kitchen this beautiful olive green that matches my tea cup.

It’s soft and comfortable. Inviting. And all over gives me warm fuzzy feelings. This all very new and odd to me. Have patience as I experiance and develop this side of my pallet.

AJ left a couple of hours ago. At this point he is at or just past Sacramento. It was a good visit. Always a good visit when my brother is around. Safe. Warm. AJ = green, heh.

My husband is cheating on me, again. This time I blame AJ. The “woman” is named NPlus. I have a feeling this affair will last for the next week or so. I can sympathize with Hillary. It’s difficult when you have a wandering man.

Alright, alright. To my paper. Off with his head!