lovely. beautiful. perfect.

We’re house sitting for some friends while they are overseas.  This morning I woke up and dressed to walk over.  The fog was lovely. beautiful. perfect.  Ludovico Einadui’s Andare played as my soundtrack.  It was perfect.  beautiful. lovely.  The crescendos came at the right time.  Ending up the song as I reached my destination… just as the sun began to burn through the fog.

Exiting the house, Primavera came on.  The sun continued it’s work and the colors became brighter, crisper.  lovely. beautiful. perfect.  The leaf edges defined, etching themselves against the sky.  The song picks up around the five minute mark, right when I reached a busy intersection.  I had to increase the volume over the sound of the cars.  But it was right.  It was the push for a new day.  As everyone entered their lives, their work, their tasks.  Movement mixed with color and edges.

lovely. beautiful. perfect.

 

It’s such a relief to hear her heartbeat.  I know that I am not alone in my worries.  Every Mother and expectant Mother I’ve chatted with have gone through / are going through the same concerns.  By the time the OB appointment comes around, we’re relieved.  Something about hearing a medical professional say “everything looks good” – makes the world of difference.

I have my glucouse screening test.  A little bottle of orange liquid that I can’t imagine tastes very good.  “Drink it cold” I was told… never a good sign!  I’ll probably get that done and over with Saturday morning after my exercise class.  Oh wait, company.  Maybe I’ll put it off for a week, no reason to rush the horrible parts of life!

I am trying to step up my exercise program.  I gained a bit too much over the past four weeks (probably because for the past three I had a HUGE sweet tooth!).  It didn’t help to have my husband constantly commenting that I don’t eat enough, in his opinion.  I need to stop appeasing him on things like that, especially when I know better.  It’s a frustrating part of my personality.  Anywho, so I’m getting up earlier so that I can walk every morning.  It’s day two and going well.  We’ll see how day three and four progress.

ohmygoshicantwaitfortwilighttocomeoutimsoexcited.

blah!

 

body

I need to get into shape.  I go on kicks where I am going to the gym regularly and eating well.  Drop a few pounds and as soon as I see that I’ve made progress – I stop.  I’m broken.

It’s important that I do this and stick to it.  If anything, because of the back problems that are strong on my Mom’s side of the family.  I don’t want bars down my back when I’m 40 because I carried extra weight when I was in my 20s.

I just need help.  It’s difficult to keep going when Mark doesn’t share that interest (in being fit, not in my personal health).  It’s difficult to go by myself all the time.  It’s difficult because I deprioritize it.  But I’ve gotta make this happen.  Even if I’m just walking for 20 minutes a day – something needs to change.

Nothing changes, if nothing changes.