Sleeping update

It’s been a while since I posted anything about Naomi’s sleep habits.  Since I just pointed a couple of people here to read about our experience with the Ferber method, I thought it would be good to issue an update.

When we moved, our bedtime routine broke.  The baby no longer has her own room, as we are now in a 3 bedroom home and my Mom still lives with us *.  So Naomi’s crib is in our room, and we had to make a new bedtime routine.  I love our new routine, it has been such a good thing for our family, as a whole.  Between 7 and 7:30pm we take her upstairs and change her diaper and put on PJs.  Then we may play a little bit, depending on the night and how tired she is.  Grab the Glow Worm and head over to our bed.  Mark lays on one side, I on the other.  Nomes, of course, in the middle.  We play with the Glow Worm, she rolls around on the bed in between us, we sing songs to her, and then Mark and I start chatting.  Naomi usually continues to roll back and forth between us, touching our faces or snuggling into our chest.  While we talk she watches and listens and then eventually falls asleep.  We continue to chat for a bit until she’s “out out” and then move her to her crib.

This is great because she doesn’t go to sleep with a bottle or pacifier, she is safe and secure between her parents, and we have a routine that we can do anywhere (hotel, Grandparent’s house, etc.).  The family time together has been awesome.  It’s one of the only times that all three of us can get together and hang out.  Mark and I are able to recap on the day, chat about tomorrow’s events, or whatever is on our mind.  Our communication has improved because we have a daily talk time.

The whole bedtime routine lasts between 10 and 30 minutes.  If she’s really tired, but not overly (aka: grouchy) then she’ll fall asleep right away.  If she is overly tired (usually because we were busy and didn’t notice the signs of sleepiness or weren’t paying attention to the time) then bedtime is a little more difficult.  She fusses and doesn’t want to lay down on the bed with us.  We have a few different methods for dealing with it:  1) flying Glow Worm.  She lays down and we make the Glow Worm “fly” above her head and play music.  She likes to watch the movement with the light and sound.  After a song or two, the Glow Worm lands gently in her lap and she grabs it to investigate. 2) More songs, louder.  Sometimes we just start singing an easy repetitive song (like my Bonnie lies over the ocean, only we’ve substituted “Naomi” for “Bonnie”).  We start out loud so she can hear us over her fussing and then quiet as she does.  3) Last resort, give her a couple ounces of ounces in a bottle.  Not too much, it’s not a “meal”, just enough to calm her down so she can settle in.  She usually will unlatch from the bottle on her own and begin her rolling back and forth between the two of us.  If she cries again after a couple of ounces then that usually means she’s hungry and we’ll give her a regular bottle (which is 6-8 ounces, minus the 2 that we already gave to her).  I don’t like to resort to the bottle often because I do not want her to become dependent on it.  However, sometimes it’s necessary and parents shouldn’t be afraid to use the tools are available to them to ease their child’s stress (and their own stress!)

Our most recent change in sleep has been nap time.  Until recently I would lay down with Naomi and take a nap with her.  Sadly I can’t afford that time anymore as I need to start bringing in new clients (clients = work = money).  So I’m laying her down for her naps and letting her CIO (cry it out).   It’s only been a couple of days and she’s already adjusting to it.  She cries for 10 minutes before falling asleep.  She wakes up 30 minutes into the nap and cries.  I don’t go to her, and she falls back asleep for an hour.  She’s happy and playful after a good nap and Mama’s happy because she had some alone time.  I fully expect her to be napping a full hour to 1.5 hours without waking up soon.  So we’ll see!

Today we’re heading to the Smith Farms in Oakley for some pumpkin fun.  Pictures to come on Facebook

 

* Mom found a really cute place in the same town we’re in!  She won’t be too far (but far enough).  I’m really excited for her.  Her move date is next week – so Nomes is going to have her own bedroom again soon!  And we’ll have some extra room in the garage!

 

funnel cake

Sleeping is a dream.   Bliss.  Our current routine is bedtime between 7:30pm and 8:00pm.  She sleeps until 5:00am and then I pull her into bed with us, nurse her, and she goes back to sleep for an hour or two.  Naps are still – eh.  But she sleeps when she’s tired, and is in good humor otherwise, so I’m ok with that.

Now that she’s done with the night feedings and pacifier, our recent undertaking is making bedtime positive.  No tears.  I wasn’t sure it was possible because she fusses so much with me before bed.  But one evening Mark had her and got her to bed tear-less.  We chatted about what he did and why we thought it worked.  So the night before last, he walked with her for a bit.  Loving on her and chatting to her.  Then passed her to me and I did the same thing.  What was awesome?  She laid her head on my shoulder and then turned and looked at her crib.  Hum… I wonder if that means she’s ready for bed.  I asked her and then laid her down.  She didn’t fuss!  I stayed with her for a few minutes, rubbing her back and speaking softly.  Then kissed her and left.

She was asleep shortly and without tears.

This evening we broke from routine.  We went to the Scottish Games and then dinner.  Not getting home until 9:00pm.  While changing her for bed she fussed once for a few seconds, then just watched me in a half sleepy state.  Afterwards I held her and walked with her for a minute before she looked at her crib again.  So I laid her down, stayed with her for a minute, kissed her and then left.  Again… no tears!

I am so excited!  I hated the idea that bedtime was something she got upset about.  However, if we can keep this going, it’s going to be something positive for her… and that’s wonderful.

I feel like I’ve discovered some amazing secret and want to share it with everyone.  It’s just *that* good.

In other news, I love my family.  Family isn’t always blood, as I’m sure you know.  It’s the people who you’ve grown up with, the people you allow into that close circle of your heart.  The people who you choose, and who have chosen you.   Well, today I got to spend time with one branch of my family and I enjoyed hanging out with them more than I ever have.  I think part of it comes from my own blossoming understanding of what family is and it’s importance.  That, and it was just a good day.  I miss them and was so blessed to hang out with them today.

Another one of my family members has re-entered my life.  He’s one of those guys who has come and gone from my life for the past 15 years.  On his current road to recovery and self discovery, he’s returned to the bay area.  I’m joyous for this, for many different reasons.  He’s changed in some ways which make me feel the seporation between us.  In other ways, I am finding bridges where seperations were.  I can’t wait to get to know who he is now and where he is going.  To be there and build a new level of our relationship.

It’s been a good day.

 

another sleep update

So last night she fell asleep quickly, but woke up at 4am and cried for an hour.  Then woke at just after six, at which time I brought her into bed with me (Mark gets up at 6 for work).  She proceeded to sleep until 9:17am.  I didn’t sleep the whole time, but curling up with my baby for three hours was really really great.

Nap time, she went to sleep within 10 minutes, but only slept for 30 minutes.  I let her cry for 15 minutes before pulling her out of bed.  She later fell asleep on Dad’s chest for almost an hour.  So her naps were off scheduled because of sleeping in… and this may be why it was wonky.

This evening she went to sleep within five minutes and is still asleep… so we’ll see!

Just wanted to update “for the record”

 

sleep update

So morning naptime was good.  She slept for an hour, twice as long as she had been sleeping.  Afternoon nap was a little wonky and ended up being in the car with Dad going to Fremont.

This evening, she was out in 10 minutes.  Sweet.  If we continue cutting it by 50%, tomorrow will be next to nothing and the following night she will be asleep the moment she hits the crib.  Not that I expect either, but wouldn’t it be great?

 

A confident choice

After talking to Moms and reading every book and article I could get my hands on, and most importantly, knowing and understanding my daughter, I decided to let her cry a bit.  My plan was to do the Ferber method of checking in on her at 5 minutes, then wait 10 minutes, then wait 15 minutes.  Keeping at the 15 minute interval.  I didn’t set a maximum crying time ahead of time, but I doubt I could have held out for more than 45 minutes of active crying.  Here’s what happened…

Naomi started crying before hitting the bed.  Dad put her down, kissed her goodnight and left the room.  We waited five minutes, and then I went in for one minute to rub her back and soothe her.  Then left the room, with her still crying.  We waited 10 minutes and I went back in to sooth her for one minute, then left the room.  She settled down about 5-7 minutes later and went to sleep.

She normally wakes up between 11pm and 11:30pm, last night she slept through until 2am (again, a normal wake up time for her).  At that time, I followed the same 5/10/15 pattern, and she was asleep in approximately 20 minutes.  She slept until 4:20am, woke up and cried for less than 5 minutes.  Woke up again around 6am and cried for one or two minutes before going back to sleep.

This morning I put her down for her nap at 10:25am.  She cried (and it wasn’t active crying, she was just whining) for less than 10 minutes before going to sleep.  It’s now 11am and she’s still sleeping.  Normally she only sleeps for 30 minutes before waking up.  I’m planning on leaving her in her crib for 45 minutes, even if she’s awake.  If she’s sleeping… then let her sleep!  So we’ll see how this goes.

- crossing fingers and toes -

All in all, I’m happy with the first night.  Yes, it was difficult hearing her cry.  But, oddly enough, not as difficult as I thought it ws going to be.  That showed me that I am confident in this decision and believe it is the best method for our family.  I full expect that by midweek she will doze off easily and I will wake up feeling more rested than I have in 9 months!

 

I stopped by Barnes & Noble today to pick up Ferber’s book (I already have no-tears books).  Standing in line, I felt like I was buying a dirty magazine.  I know friends on both ends of the Sears/Ferber spectrum, but I must say that the Sears-ites tend to be more guilt/emotional in their arguments.  Enough so that I feel like I’m breaking some terrible moral code by even considering breaking from the doctrine.

I haven’t made  a choice yet… and may not until after we’ve settled into the new place. I need to start looking into how moving may effect the baby and what I should be prepared for and do to get her settled in at the new house.

Something has to change.  I’ve started waking up at night with a start, not knowing where the baby is because I was so tired the last time she woke up, that I don’t remember laying her back down.  I wake up afraid that I fell asleep with her on my lap and she rolled off onto the floor or sufficated because I leaned forward in a doze while she was nursing.  I’m tired, I’m stressed (with the move and a few other things), and I need to get some sleep.

My preference?  Cosleeping and cuddling her to sleep every night for at least one year.  Offering her comfort and nursing on demand, ensuring she is emotionally stable and safe.  Sadly, reality doesn’t always work along with our preferences.  My husband has a sleeping disorder.  Cosleeping poses two problems.  The first is that his medication makes him sleep heavier and that poses a risk to the baby.  The second is that his productive sleep is limited and cosleeping will disrupt that, causing his waking time to be even more difficult.  While I could sleep in another room with the baby, that would put a strain on our marriage, causing other issues.

So I’m exploring all of the options that I can and am going to do something that works best for the entire family.

 

Mark woke up last night with a crazy dance with acid reflux.  Poor guy.  It didn’t sound fun.  End result was him calling in sick.  Which meant that he was taking the day to chill… and I thought this would be the perfect chance for him to bond with his daughter while Mom enjoyed free hands to get some things done.  Oh yah baby, I scrubbed the kitchen floor.  I vacuumed.  I did laundry (which reminds me, I need to put in a new load…).  Really – it was lovely.

I’m PM’g a new development project.  It’s stright forward, we’re implementing a custom appplication for site B, which we just finished designing for site A through the same company.  That’s a good thing, it means they liked the application.   In the mean time, I’ve got some work to do.  I need to sort out the additional license needed to install another instance of Expression Engine and cut up site A into proper css/html (it’s a horrible mess of html and tables right now).  It’ll keep me busy for the next couple of days.

AO finally got back to me.  Looks like we’ll be starting her Cafe Press project soon.  I need to refresh on that one since it’s been several weeks since I looked at it.  I also need to finish with GM’s gallery skin.

Even with these guys to keep things going for the next few weeks, work is quite a bit slower than it used to be.  I’m currently looking for work-from-home part-time positions that can bring in some supplimental income.

About time for bed.  I love bed time.

 

I should be doing the dishes… instead I’m plugging.

I love swaddles (we’ve been using the Kiddopotamus one).  Nomes has been difficult sleeping in her bassinet.  Then I remembered last night.. the swaddle.  Why did I stop swaddling her at night?  I don’t remember.  I think it must have been a passive attempt as suicide by depriving myself of sleep.  Good thing I’m in my right mind.  She dozed happily until 3am – which seems to be our “witching hour”, when she won’t calm down unless snuggled up to me.  Snuggled and then back to bed a couple hours later.

Everyone needs a swaddle.  It’s added to my “baby shower gift list for all expectant mothers”.

Also on the list is Lanisnoh Clean & Condition Cloths.  I’m sold on them – her butt never looked so pretty!